To Educate Is Not To Create, But To Help Children To Create Themselves

To educate is not to create, but to allow children to forge their own path. Be aware that if they don’t, it can sometimes have repercussions on future stages of their growth.

We often think that the duty of parents is to make children’s lives easier. However, it is obvious that we must let them act on their own and stumble, while remaining by their side, so that they are self-sufficient. They have to be educated.

Educating does not mean forcing children to do certain things, because we are not talking about machines that do not have the slightest will.

But if we prevent children from building themselves, we will limit them. Sooner or later this will have its own consequences.

Teaching them how to think, how to be, to believe in certain truths without questioning themselves about them will prevent them from making use of the most precious of the capacities they could have: self-determination.

The parable of a Sufi master on how to educate our children

A Sufi master used to tell a parable at the end of each lesson, but the students did not always understand the message.

• Master – one of his students said to him one day in a provocative tone – you always tell us a story but you never explain to us its deeper meaning.
• I beg your pardon – the master apologized – but allow me, in order to correct my mistake, that I bring you my delicious peach.
• Thank you teacher.
• However, I would like to thank you as you deserve. Will you allow me to peel your peach?
• Yes, thank you very much – replied the student surprised the kindness of the offer of the master.
• As I already have the knife in my hand, would you like me to cut it into pieces to make it easier for you?
• I would like to, but I would not want to abuse your generosity, master.
• It is not an abuse if I offer it to you. I just want to make you happy with things I can do. Also let me chew it on you before I give it to you.
• No master, I wouldn’t like you to do that! – answered the disciple.

The master paused, smiled and said:

• If I explained to you the meaning of each of the tales I read to you, it would be like giving you pre-chewed fruit to eat.

You are the protagonist of your own life

Self-determination in children implies that  whatever they do, they will always be the protagonists of their own lives.

It is not because they are small that they should be given the pre-chewed fruits. Mistakes, mistakes and the power of choice must be present today.

This is the perfect time to teach them good practices, so that they know how to manage their emotions, learn from everything they do and know that even if they fall, they will be able to get up.

However, parents act as if they want to be the protagonists in their children’s lives. By telling them how they should think, act and decide.

Changing an absolute truth with a challenge will allow the youngest to gain enormous benefits. It will help them make decisions, think about it, and watch what happens.

They will begin to have confidence in their abilities. Only then can they gain security and begin to face their greatest fears.

To educate is not to create but to allow

To educate is not to create a child, but to allow them to trace their own path. Be aware that if they don’t, it can sometimes affect their growth.

For example, these young people who enter university with a lack of motivation because their parents forced them to do certain studies.

Why don’t they allow their child to fly? Why not let him pursue what he wants? Perhaps it is due to the fear and insecurity of the parents. However, the time available to children is reduced because they are studying that they are not interested in.

This is why we must give wings to the thoughts of children, while encouraging critical capacity, avoiding ready-made answers and learned and predetermined solutions.

How can we do it?

• By allowing children to perform tasks that do not involve a great deal of stress or anxiety. In this way, they will feel more competent.
• Let them fly on their own, leaving them a space of autonomy where they feel they have control to seek certain solutions.
• Always support them, by being present, but without conditioning what they do. By letting them know they can count on your support.

Conclusion

It is normal to educate our children as our parents did with us. However, it is important to open your eyes to avoid making the same mistakes that have affected us in the past.

Always keep in mind that to educate is not to create, but to allow the little ones to create themselves so that they can be authentic and unique.